15 Completely Irrational Ways People Offended Me As A New Mum: This Isn’t Pretty

I don’t know why I am so damn irrational when I have babies. Hormones, tiredness, protectiveness? Anxiety? Whatever silly, overwhelming shit is going on in my mind and making me behave like a pyscho, I am #sorrynotsorry.

I have two children, 4 years apart. I suffered the baby blues (as most new mums do) with both of them, but they didn’t seem to go with my first. I seemed to have bounced back quickly with my second (which I am so grateful for), but that still hasn’t stopped me acting like an overprotective, oversensitive moron.

To start the proceedings, here are 5 things people said to me that offended me when I was pregnant:

5 things that made me eye roll myself into another dimension when I was preggers

1. “Why did you find out the sex – I would never find out.”

This

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2.

This

3.

This

4.

This

5.

This

Now to the really crazy shit. Here are 10 things people said that REALLY offended me (and are still offending me 7 months on) as a new mum:

10 well-meaning things that irrationally offended me as a new mum

1.*A bit of crying at a few days old* “Oh, she always cries when other people hold her.”

She’s been in my tummy for nearly 10 months – crying is what babies do, especially new ones. Besides, I like to think my baby chooses those to piss off, even at 1 day old!

2. *A bit of crying at a few days old* “Is she having a tantrum?”

I nearly lost my shit at this one, but I kept it together enough to say my goodbyes and leave.

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3. Referring to Indi as “The Baby”.

My husband and I named her Indi, not The Baby. I can’t even explain why this offends me, but it just does!

4. “She’s not crying, you don’t need to go up there.”

Hold up. It’s day 5, my baby is whining in her bed. I havn’t got to know her cries or normal behaviour yet, and I don’t know what the bloody hell I’m doing from one minute to the next. My heart can’t take hearing her winge for even a moment right now, so I will pop up there and just check she’s cool, ok. OK.

5. “Remember to wipe her from front to back”

Erm, last time I checked, I am female. I think I already know how to do that, but, thanks for the tip.

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I’d love to hear your irrational behaviour too, if just to make me feel a teeny bit more normal! Please!

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