As a parent, there may be a number of reasons why you might not feel as irresistible as you did before you had children. From feeling tired all the time, to being covered in mess, being milked like a cow, and even changes in how you look (thinning hair, anyone?) it can be understandable why you may feel this way.
However, there is a very high chance that your partner still sees you as the amazing person they initially fell for so it’s good to remember that and give yourself a damn break 😀
Sometimes, feeling sexually attractive can also be about having confidence in yourself, and looking for ways to boost that confidence. This way, you may also be more likely to want to engage in sexual activity as well.
Sometimes, surgery can help boost your confidence, and that’s ok…
Changes “down there” as you get older, or even after having a baby, could make you feel quite nervous about engaging in a bit of nooky. For some women, this might even prevent them from wanting their partner to see or feel this area. In particular, you might be concerned about how the size or shape of your labia has changed. Getting more info on labiaplasty could help you to figure out if this is the right solution for you. Labiaplasty is also known as labial reduction, and it involves reducing or reshaping the labia minora.
Surprisingly, this procedure usually takes a mere couple of hours and will allow you to return home the same day. While you may not initially be able to engage in any sexual activity for a few months, in the end, you may find yourself liking the look of your new bits, and therefore feeling a little more self-confident.
Let’s talk tearing, yikes…
In addition to the changes you may encounter above, childbirth can also lead to some other changes that may make you feel uncomfortable with intimacy. For example, you may experience tearing in the vagina during childbirth (I did, twice, yay,) then suffer looseness and swelling afterwards, which can lead to pain or discomfort during sex. This can heal over time, but to help this process and make sex feel better once you have healed, you can try pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegel exercises, to strengthen your vaginal muscles.
Oh, then there’s the “oops moments…”
The exercises I mentioned above can also help with incontinence, which is another potential issue after childbirth. However, pelvic floor exercises may not be the perfect solution, especially if your muscles are too tight following stretching and tearing during childbirth and after stitches. It may be worthwhile to try pelvic floor therapy if you’re having problems with these muscles, and reducing issues with intimacy over time with the help of pelvic floor exercises and therapy could help you to feel more confident and attractive again.
The bottom line…
While sex may not be the most important aspect of your relationship, it may help you to feel more intimate with one another. Even when you have a child to raise, you may still want to have this level of closeness like you did before, so finding ways to accomplish this will be very helpful.
That said, I encourage you to be P.R.O.U.D of your post-baby-body no matter what’s going on down there. Be thankful for the miracle gift your body has given you, and wear your floppy bits with pride!