Losing someone close is painful for anyone, but for a child, losing a parent can turn their world upside down. It’s a time when they need you the most – not just as a parent but as a steady source of comfort and security. While there’s no handbook for navigating something this difficult, there are ways to help your child cope and heal. Here are some ideas to guide you through this tender process.
Take Care of Yourself First
It’s easy to put your grief on the back burner when you’re focused on your child, but looking after yourself is just as important. You’ve experienced loss too – whether it’s the loss of your partner, co-parent, or even the breadwinner in your family.
Ignoring your own emotions can make it harder for you to be present for your child. Talk to friends, lean on loved ones, or speak with a professional if needed. By processing your feelings, you’ll be in a much better space to be strong for your little ones when they need you most.
Help Preserve Their Parent’s Memory
One of the hardest thoughts as a parent might be wondering if your child will struggle to hold onto memories of the one they’ve lost. This is where creating ways to honour the loved one’s memory becomes incredibly meaningful.
Consider incorporating Memorial stones into their routine – these can create a comforting space where they can visit, talk to, or simply reflect on their parent. Photo albums, letters, or even letting your child create something special like drawings or crafts for this space can help maintain that connection. It’s not just about keeping their parent’s memory alive, but also about helping your child feel the love and bond they shared.
Bring in Professional Support When It’s Needed
Even surrounded by family and love, your child might feel emotions they don’t know how to express. That’s where professional help can make a big difference. Counselling for kids offers them a safe space to unpack their feelings, ask questions, and share what’s on their minds in their way.
Sometimes talking to someone outside the family feels easier. A counsellor or therapist trained in helping kids through loss can help them understand what they’re feeling and provide tools to manage those emotions. You don’t have to have all the answers – this kind of support can be invaluable for both of you.
Create Stability in Their Day-to-Day Life
When life feels unpredictable and scary, stability can be a lifeline. Helping your child keep a sense of structure is one way to show them that life, while different, can still be good.
That might mean small things, like sticking to familiar routines – meals, bedtime, or shared activities. If they need time off of school to process everything, that’s okay, but try to help them return before too long. Being around friends, teachers, and their usual environment can be comforting. It’s a reminder of the parts of their world that are still familiar and steady.
Similarly, keep them involved in weekend clubs or hobbies they love. These activities help create some normalcy when everything else feels so different.
Final Thoughts
There’s no easy way to help a child cope with losing a parent. It’s a process – sometimes slow, often messy – and every child will handle it differently. But your love and presence give them a foundation they can rely on. By focusing on their feelings, honouring the parent they’ve lost, and reaching out for support when needed, you can help them find their way to healing. Remember, you’re not alone in this either – you’re doing the best you can, and that means everything.
Last Updated on January 20, 2025 by Lucy Clarke
