What happens when you file for divorce first?

When one can’t wait anymore and wants to terminate their marriage here and now, a person commonly hurries to initiate the official breakup. A divorcee can gain a beneficial position in the proceedings by gaining a role of a plaintiff. Conversely, one ought to be aware of the extra responsibilities and the threats they will deal with if they apply for divorce first. Here we explain the benefits and pitfalls of filing for divorce first:

Benefits of filing for a divorce first

Although it is often scary to cross the line and send your love story to the past, filing for divorce first can have its perks. A plaintiff experiences the following benefits if they initiate the marriage termination:

Being the ready one

Being the partner who selects when to initiate a mediated divorce process, you are the fully prepared partner. This implies avoiding any shock or stress from the realisation that your family’s peace is heading to an end. The docs are gathered, the plan is laid down, connections with specialists are created, and you’re in reach of happiness.

Selecting the court location

If the partners reside in different places, it will be you who chooses the court location. Even such a small perk may save time on commuting, and you feel secure being closer to home and choosing where is comfortable for you to start the proceedings.

Regulating the divorce pace

When initiating the divorce process, you are commonly the one to cover several steps. So, it depends on you how fast you cover the primary steps.

Creating the first impression

You and your divorce lawyer will be expected to bring the divorce documents to your local office and represent your points in court. If you manage to create a positive impression, you may reap more benefits in the long run.

Enquiring about temporary orders

Filing for divorce first means you and your family law attorney will manage to call for temporary orders upfront. This means you will get your spouse’s actions regarding your family regulated quickly.

Remember what temporary orders can cover before you file. These can provide a temporary division of assets and debts while your divorce case is underway, although you’ll need to speak to divorce lawyers about the details. For example, it might be a good idea to freeze your credit and to take steps to prevent your spouse from opening new accounts in your name. You should also consider your position as the plaintiff or the respondent.

A plaintiff usually has more explicit and implicit possibilities in the case. As an ambitious person who is sure about finalising the marriage, filing for divorce first to become the boss of the process.

Pitfalls of filing for divorce first

On the contrary, more significant roles bring more significant responsibilities. You ought to be ready to face the possible disadvantages of filing for divorce first:

Being determined as the guilty one

Although you may have the opposite position, your former beloved, kids, friends, and relatives may see you as the responsible one for ruining a family. Regardless if it is your partner who cheated on you, abused you, or failed to treat you well, you may be seen as a partner who asked for an official breakup and finalised the family happiness.

Covering more expenses

Craving a divorce in Illinois or anywhere else, you have to cover the filing fees. You may agree with your partner to split the bill or request official financial help, but frequently, the plaintiff is the person to settle the filing fees and serve the spouse.

Getting more work to do

It’s your responsibility to assemble all the required papers and data, generate possible divorce agreement solutions, find appropriate specialists, make possible arrangements for life as a divorcee, and find and serve your former beloved, but always remember that divorce without an attorney is possible.

Revealing your intentions

If you initiate a marriage termination, you have to complete the forms with your suggestion on the probable divorce results. You reveal your views on the divorce, while your spouse evaluates any opportunities and generates their answer to shock or beat you in the end.

If the listed arguments against being the first to file for divorce don’t appear to challenge you, you are welcome to begin a marriage termination.

During divorce proceedings, cooperation is key

Generally, there is a difference between whether you are the partner to call for a divorce or the one to answer your spouse’s filing. But what is crucial for the best aftermath of your relationship termination is efficient cooperation with the relevant specialists and your soon-to-be-ex.

So, what you definitely ought to do prior to initiating the divorce is to discuss everything with your lawyer. Ask them, “In my situation, does it matter who files for divorce first?” They will assist you in assessing your case and taking only beneficial steps. Then, it is recommended to dwell on your concerns with your former soulmate about your official breakup intentions. For the sake of all the good you experienced in your past, you ought to steer clear of shocking your partner with divorce docs filed without any warnings.

Once you opt for the preferred actions and prepare well, you will experience a successful and beneficial divorce, no matter who initiated the partnership termination.

Last Updated on October 1, 2026 by Lucy Clarke